Why pay to go see a professional Mistress?
The Supreme Sadist of Sussex, Mistress Catriona offers some advice for anyone not quite sure about taking the next step.
You have strong desires that are beyond the “normal” boundaries. You desperately want to explore them, and find others to indulge these kinks with.
It is a whole new world and in those early stages, you just want to throw yourself in head first. Or balls first most likely.
However, these first few steps will shape the submissive you become. If you don’t choose wisely, and make rational and informed decisions you can find yourself scarred for life. Physically and mentally.
I now have subs / slaves and sissies approach me that tell me about some awful first time experiences. It sets them back years, as they withdrew from the kink scene after, and had to find the courage to begin again after the hurt wore off.
It is such a HUGE step. You are risking your mind and body. You have to think of it as preparing for an extreme sport.
The element of danger is part of the appeal. But you want to know there are safety measures there in the back of your mind. It allows you to revel in and enjoy the dangerous element, the highs that come with it.
Now if you were planning to go base jumping, would you go for the cheapest person you could find? Someone that had read all about it online and watched YouTube videos all about how to do up a safety harness?
Or would you rather take some responsibility for yourself and do research on the company you choose. What experience do they have, what have previous participants thought, is there feedback?
What can you find out about them through a simple google search. If there is no trace of them other than Twitter, that’s not a good sign.
So, the parallel I want you to grasp, is that some of us have spent years learning, before we began charging. We have refined our skills, have amassed a range of equipment and knowledge. We make safety a priority even when you’ve forgotten all about it. We know what “aftercare” means and why it is so important.
We know when to push you further and when to stop. We are good people that do very bad things. And some of us are exceptional at it.
Make sure that when you’ve found your ideal dominant, you take some time to reflect after each session. Communication and trust are the foundations for any strong relationship, but this is particularly applicable in a D/S dynamic.
The professional Mistress and the amateur
As there is no qualification or way to distinguish a professional from an amateur I would suggest keeping in mind the following points:
- A professional will always encourage 2-way dialogue after a session.
(She will however, not appreciate you chatting about general stuff between sessions, taking up her valuable time. You will need to be prepared to tribute her for any and all interactions beyond any session related conversations.
- A professional will know what SSC or RACK stands for. (Safe, sane, consensual) and (Risk Aware Consensual Kink). Consent is the only absolute law in BDSM. Something a professional will never compromise on.
- A professional will not tolerate you calling her “babe / baby / sexy / hun” an amateur will.
- A professional will allow you to have an opinion, limits, and a voice. An amatuer will give herself away, by overdoing the “what I say goes” approach.
- Assuming you’ve tributed for an online chat. An amateur will not enjoy questions. Because she doesnt have the knowledge or experience to answer them. She will become agitated or aggressive when you attempt to question her abilities or ask for details.
- An amateur will attempt to cover up her obvious lack of skill with overt levels of aggression, flirtation or diversion.
- A professional would not arrange sessions via social media.
- A professional has a website, with information more than pictures. There will be testimonials, which should vary in tone and composition.
- An amateur will blur the line between submissive and something more quickly. Will encourage you to feel like friends, more than friends. This is pure manipulation for financial gain. Think about other professions, Doctors, Mechanics, Accountants, they are offering a specialised service. They can talk to you about it during your meeting, but once they go home they don’t want to talk about piles, chassis or tax deadlines. They know their value. Their informed opinion costs money. If you had skills of high value, giving it away for free would make you stupid. And stupid people doing dangerous activities are not worth hundreds of pounds. They know this and are out there right now. Hoping you fall for their pretty face. Be smart. Approach this the right way – without your dick in your hand.
Mistress Catriona is based in South East England. Visit the authors website wwww.mistresscat.co.uk for more insights and information on her brand of BDSM.
View Mistress Catriona at Sadistic Mistress.